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Beyond grief

I cannot find the words to express my thoughts and feelings about the Nassar tragedy.  We are an international community of people motivated by a love for gymnastics.  In the main, young people are the only ones with the energy, skill and daring to be able to compete.  These young people are completely reliant on elders to train safely, to progress healthily and to be happy.  The betrayal when this all goes wrong is total and inexcusable.  To think that there is even one person exists who sees this reliance as an opportunity to hurt and repress individuals for the sake of their own pleasure - it is evil.  J K Rowling's Death Eaters, the Dementors of Harry Potter, have nothing on Nassar and his depraved, selfish pursuit of power.  The horror is complete. 

I have awoken to the scale of this horror terribly slowly, as if incapable of distinguishing life from nightmare.  I am removed from the everyday reality of these awful experiences, yet they keep me awake at night.  For the survivors, it is a grief, and it is beyond grief.  We experience grief and live with grief as a way of saying goodbye to those we loved and love.  The survivors, their families and friends, have to live with this grief every day.  We who support them have to help this terror to move beyond grief, but there will always be grief for those who were robbed of their childhood, their innocence, the joy they expressed in their talent.  It may grow a little smaller with time, but it will always be there.

As Simone said in her statement, so eloquent, direct and honest, she must find a way of living and being happy.  That must seem a long way away, though.  It must at least be a small relief to see that USA Gymnastics has finally taken some action, and closed The Ranch as national training centre.  In my view, its associations and history are such that it should be demolished.
 
What has happened is not just about gymnastics or sport; it is, as McKayla said, about predators who gather on the doorstep, wherever there are young and vulnerable people.  Athletes are particularly vulnerable not just because they begin training at a young age, but also because they have a dependence on advisors and others who tend to be in a position of power over them, and who can use favouritism and politics to disfavour and discredit the athlete, however great their talents, effort and joy.  To this extent, sport needs to take a lead in creating change and a healthier balance of power.  As Jessica on Gymcastic has said, in reality the athletes have all the power in the Nassar case.  But that power has taken years and decades to build.  Can we only listen to our athletes or give them the power of veto if they are legends, gold medal winners and champions? 

The Nassar case is unique in scale if not, sadly, in nature.  A coach who systematically abused young footballers is currently under investigation in the UK.  We remember the allegations made by Eberle, Dunca and others in Romanian gymnastics of the treatment they experienced at the hands of the Karolyis and others back in the 70s and 80s.  There are parallels with the various doping scandals of which we are aware.  East German athletes were fed unnamed 'medicines'.  Many young athletes will simply take whatever their coach or doctor gives them and tells them to take; the athlete pays for the infringement legally, physically and mentally, but may not always be the guilty one. Athlete doping is therefore often abuse.

Is sport worth it at all?  If what is supposed to be a joyful expression of commitment, talent, health and playful competition becomes a playground where only the evil play, should we continue?   But that would be to give darkness the higher ground.  We must find a way of reclaiming sport, and make things better.  Is it too early to begin to speak of next steps and learning?  Instead of stepping deeper into the inferno, we have to try to lift the situation into daylight and begin to build something better and new, or Nassar will have won.

Blame and responsibility are two concepts that are regularly aired in angry fan communications.  In going beyond grief, we have to separate the two, and be clear what we mean.  Blame is a backward looking, angry idea.  We seek someone to blame to vent our anger, to emphasise and reassure ourselves that we are not to blame.  Blame involves seeing the problem from a black and white perspective, I-am-right-you-are-wrong.   And, of course, in this case, it is hard to escape the fact that Nassar was to blame for his own actions.  Nassar will have to live with his wrongdoing for the rest of his life.
 
But it would be wrong for the rest of us to be stuck in blame forever.  Blame is about the externally driven energy of sticking something nasty on somebody.  The process and pain of establishing that blame has been formalised in court and legal proceedings.  Next, though, responsibility is in the internally driven energy to acknowledge fault and put things right.  Responsibility is something discouraged in a context where liability and financial pain are often involved, but morally and ethically, responsibility is needed next.  Somebody, somewhere, has to begin to take responsibility, or all will be lost.  Who?

Listen to our very own Gymcastic, from start to finish, to follow the evidence and arguments as they emerge.  USA Gymnastics' refusal to take the case seriously and to acknowledge their responsibility shaped Nassar's opportunities to abuse and hurt, delivered victims to his doorstep.  Did you know he was not even properly qualified to practice in Texas?  That he worked for the USAG in a voluntary, unpaid capacity?  The girls he was abusing were not even receiving proper treatment for their injuries.  This is thanks to the USAG's negligence, obfuscation and dissembling.  USAG refused to believe complaints against Nassar, increasing the pain of his victims, but also they had not completed even the most basic checks thoroughly.  The US Olympic Committee also has responsibility to check the credentials of all national team doctors, but failed to find Nassar out. 

I have read that what has been uncovered in the Nassar case is a paedophile ring supported at the very highest levels of US sport.  This seems like a crazy conspiracy theory.  But if it isn't so - if USAG and the USOC weren't deliberately working towards a strategic plan of child and athlete abuse - then at the very least they are guilty of terrible, unbelievable, complete incompetence.  Everyone involved should be removed from their positions of power and be investigated for criminal negligence at best.

Sport as a world community has to investigate this case and to learn from it.  This is an international, pan-social issue that affects more than just the USA, gymnastics, and the Olympics.  At a time that pays the correct respect to the survivors, there needs to be a call to action.  An international working party needs to be convened, including the FIG, IOC, USAG, USOC, the relevant medical commissions and child protection authorities – perhaps even UNESCO - to investigate the bigger picture.  We need to learn lessons and to change our practice to ensure that youngsters are granted the right power, and are protected to pursue their lives safely.   The gymnasts involved in this case have been unspeakably brave.  Going forward, we all have to look beyond grief.  We have to find a way of making sense, of being better, of creating a greater light to outshine the darkness and shadow.


Comments

  1. Glad to see you writing again. It seems like there were absolutely no safeguards in place.

    The governing body is acting like a business and will protect itself at all costs. You can see that from the statements that come out. Maybe this is due to risk of litigation.

    So you have an organisation that is not credible and won't take drastic steps to rebuild that trust. There is no real alternative organisation and hence USOC haven't even thought about decertifying. IOC and FIG are very very quiet about the whole subject. Why is that I wonder?

    In the UK, we have recently had the whole bullying saga (which got a whole lot less tv time). Do you think anything is going to change?

    Maybe they should start concentrating on gymnastics for fun and health and less about status and medals.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comment Kev.

      I honestly think that the only chance for gymnastics to survive this, in the West at least, is for the sport to take the lead in developing a new approach to elite sports coaching that has an appropriate balance of power. They should begin right away.
      As for the USA - its strength has been the thriving network of private clubs all over the country. That could now turn against it. What parent in their right mind would send their little girl to gymnastics camp after all this?
      So many people are involved - ‘paedophile ring’ might be extreme, but look at all the evidence - so many gymnasts speaking out now and so many who have in the past - do you remember Flying Squirrels? I feel as though we as fans have even been drawn into a mist of disbelief - poor Moceanu, Sey whose words were largely taken as exaggeration or bitterness. Only with hindsight do we see the bigger picture- an immense, long drawn out cover up. People in power did know - they just chose not to believe.

      I cannot believe what John Geddert has just posted on his Facebook page - that he and his gymnasts ignored the ‘distractions’ and had a good competition this weekend. That is a despicable reinforcement of the culture that winning is the only thing that matters. Has he even found a few words to comfort Jordyn?

      Then you see Jordyn in her role at UCLA - a caring team manager with such wisdom. She is the one whose statement moved me the most of the Olympic team for she must have been completely alone with Geddert as her coach, and the betrayal was doubled. I think of her crying alone after quals in 2012, her difficulties in EF, but how she fought with the team till the end. It’s the same whether it is poor judging, bad competition set up or child abuse - the gymnasts are the ones who set the good example, the officials the ones who let you down.
      I certainly think that USOC should decertify USAG. A new national Federation has to be set up. I believe that leading coaches in the USA are working on this now.

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    2. Jordyn will go far. She is creating an opposite experience to how she was treated.

      Moceanu had so much heartbreak in her life. Her parents were the opposite of supportive as well.

      I guess Gedderts post shows a lot about him and his mindset. Things may be about to change on that front, though there seems to be a distinct lack of criminal charges on anything (Nassar has just 10 and not related to gymnastic abuse).

      I don't think it stops there though. There is also a lot of money at play here too.

      Still nothing from USOC,FIG or IOC.

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    3. Aly has called for an independent investigation. She is right. There are too many vested interests.
      I wonder who would be the right organisation or people to lead this.

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    4. Is there a way to have a national program that produces consistently high level gymnastics while maintaining transparency and respecting athletes? Honestly, in the entire history of the artistic gymnastic sport, we have never seen one program that could be an example. As an American gymnastics fan, the victim impact statements are heartbreaking. And they are like eulogies for the death of the Karolyi system. I always wondered what would bring down the US WAG program. I never thought the house of cards would come crashing down like this. All of us are left wondering "Now what?"

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    5. I agree. I have been going through my archive and have found a couple of copies of Flying Squirrels, a fan publication that blew the cover on the Karolyi ranch as far back as 1991.
      I suppose with the new model of the sport - more mature women competing, more emphasis on athleticism and endurance, an additive form of marking - I thought we had got away from the cruelty.
      The sad thing is that I think it is possible that women’s gymnastics will be destroyed or at least diminished by this worldwide, whatever happens. USA’s private gym clubs will suffer and go out of business - who would send their little girls to gymnastics now? Without sponsorship, the sport worldwide will struggle to find the big competition venues and who knows may lose television broadcast revenues as media and the public turn their back on the sport. And at the next opportunity the IOC may well degrade the involvement of women’s artistic gymnastics in the Olympics.
      I only hope that men’s gymnastics can take the lead for a few years while WAG recovers and restructures.
      It is important to remember that this isn’t just gymnastics - other sports are involved; the medical commissions should be investigated for allowing Nassar to practice in a state where he wasn’t even legal - but gymnastics is first in line for the chop.

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